My last words
As many of you know my wife Kate and I have 5 children ranging in age from 15-2 years of age. We are busy in our day to day world and often feel more like an ATM machine mixed with a taxi service. Distributing money, resources and providing transportation. That is what we do.
Kate and I have had the pleasure this week to take a vacation, just the two of us. We are sitting as I type this on the runway waiting to head back home. (Yes, I've reassured the stewardess that my phone is on airplane mode.)
Am I the only one who's mortality and longing for loved ones is heightened when I fly? I miss them. I want to see them, hold them and do what they are doing with them. I want to look them in their eyes and there is even a part of me that wants to see them grown up into maturity. As we people watched this week and I saw young adults that reminded me of my kids as I imagine them in their twenties, my mind wandered to who they will become and what will they pursue? What will they enjoy and how will they enjoy it?
So, we are in the air now and my fears are in check for the moment. As I reflect on this week I observe that someone else (thanks grandma!) has been distributing the money and offering the taxi services. If the plane went down right now, our chosen guardians and life insurance policies would see that the ATM and taxi services would remain open in our absence. Additionally, I sincerely believe that God has overcome death through the supernatural intervention named Jesus and that I would see Him, the one that created me, and that He will usher in a new reality in the next age and that I would see my children in my fullness and their fullness at that time. But, what about the time between now and then? What about the things that I hope for and would miss beyond logistics?
So, here it goes. Here is what I hope for and what I would miss. As simply put as I know how. (If the plane starts to go down, I'll just turn it off airplane mode and try and send real quick)
Identity, purpose and passion.
Identity: What I hope for and what I would miss for each of my children is seeing their identity formed. I pray that it would be formed in the reality of love and security. I've drifted over different periods of life questioning love and security and I think discovering that you are loved by your Creator and that this love is totally secure is a supreme gift. It enables us to not place our identity in other fleeting things and it also allows us the ability to love others out of giving and not trying to take from others to feel whole. We are whole and secure through our Creator's love and the relationships beyond this are simply a gift. Forming this identity is different for each of us, and it is a gift and an experience I want to observe and encourage in each of my children.
Purpose: So, it is one thing to be secure in love and identity. It is another thing all together to know what you are to 'do'in each of our lives. I'm not saying my children's future occupations, I am saying each of their specific purposes. What are the individual, specific and deeply personal assignments and missions that they will each receive as they grow? I hope for and would miss seeing them find these purposes. We can never fully know how our individual puzzle pieces fit into God's grand puzzle (we don't get to cheat and look at the cover of the puzzle box), but I do think we can have confidence that our puzzle pieces have a purpose for ourselves and for others. They have meaning and they matter in a big big way. I pray that each of my children have confidence in their purpose. And yes, I do look forward to seeing the glory when God grants each of us the perspective to see the finished puzzle.
Passion: I would definitely miss and hope for passion and abandonment for each of my children. I would hope that I shared some of my passion and that they would take it to even remarkably further heights. I would miss seeing them each discover that they don't have to play it safe all the time and that how they do something is basically as important as what they are doing. With passion also comes conviction and the ability to have courage to advocate for themselves and others in times of plenty and in times of want. I pray they find a well of passion that never runs dry and that it is contagious. Identity, purpose and passion in joy and in sorrow. I pray that we land safely and that I receive the gift to journey with my children as they unlock these in their own lives.
So, Anne, Aubrey, Daniel, Hope, and Jane: I can't wait to see each of you and share in your journey to discover your identity, purpose and passion. Even if that journey is handing out cash and driving you around. :)
Tenderly,
Your dad.
